Ellen DeGeneres quotes are just the thing to brighten up a gloomy day. With her wit, good natured humor, and incisive timing, Ellen DeGeneres has been making people laugh for years. She views her TV show as an antidote to life's negativity, and her thousands of fans would certainly agree.
If you've never heard Ellen DeGeneres speak, watched her show, or read her writing -- well, where have you been? But we can help fix that! Brighten your day with these funny and interesting Ellen DeGeneres quotes.
1. I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.
2. I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.
3. I have the worst memory ever so no matter who comes up to me - they're just, like, 'I can't believe you don't remember me!" I'm like, 'Oh Dad I'm sorry!'
4. But seriously, I think overall in the scheme of things winning an Emmy is not important. Let's get our priorities straight. I think we all know what's really important in life - winning an Oscar.
5. Yeah I'm thirty-six, but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old woman, so they decided to make me thirty-two. Much more appealing somehow.
6. Friends will write me letters. They run out of room on the front of the letter. They write 'over' on the bottom of the letter. Like I'm that much of a moron. Like I need that there. Because if it wasn't there, I'd get to the bottom of the page: 'And so Kathy and I went shopping and we--' That's the craziest thing! I don't know why she would just end it that way.
7. I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut.
8. I was coming home from kindergarten - well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It's good for a kid to know how to make gloves."
9. Just go up to somebody on the street and say "You're it!" and then run away.
10. In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.
You can't help but smile when you hear these words of wit and wisdom. Like many funny quotes, Ellen's have a point -- and sometimes, that point is worth hearing. So whether you're looking for inspiration or just a good laugh, Ellen DeGeneres quotes fit the bill.
For more funny quotes, check out the popular funny quotes section at Famous-Quotes-And-Quotations.com, a website that specializes in 'Top 10' lists of quotations in dozens of categories.